


i'll be there (to make it all okay)

by chocolatebirdie



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Nightmares, the buckley-diazes are the best family there is and u can fight me, the tsunami (tm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29629314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatebirdie/pseuds/chocolatebirdie
Summary: Chris curls into Buck's arms, rubbing his back the way Buck was. "Are you okay?" he asks shyly.Buck laughs softly. "I am," he says slowly. "But not always. Some days I'm really sad. Or mad." He takes a deep breath. "Some days I'm scared.""You're not scared," he argues. "You're Buck. You're a superhero." Buck saved him, and all those people. He saves people every day at work with his dad. He even saw it on the news sometimes."Superheroes get scared too, buddy."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 15
Kudos: 265





	i'll be there (to make it all okay)

**Author's Note:**

> so it's 4 am. it's my birthday, technically, and i can't sleep, because i was walking on lake erie today (it's frozen, currently) and there was a thin patch of ice, and i fell in. it was only a second or two before my brothers pulled me out, but now i can't sleep, and fic is my [jean ralphio singing voice] coping mechanismmmm!
> 
> (this isn't even the first fic i've written about a character having nightmares to cope with my own.... oops)
> 
> anyway. i love the buck/chris dynamic with my whole entire heart, and i wish they'd addressed their tsunami trauma more, but alas. i'll do it instead.
> 
> title from keep you safe by lindsey ray, bc i'm not at my most creative at the moment

Christopher wakes abruptly.

He sees flashes of his dream - cold, water, falling, choking - but he pushes it down, shakes his head to clear it.

It's been years since the tsunami, but sometimes in his sleep he forgets. Sometimes in his sleep he's still there, in the water, looking for Buck. Screaming for Buck.

He used to call Buck sometimes, on bad nights like this. His dad found out eventually but he didn't get mad at him, and Buck never did either, so he figured it was okay. Buck had told him he could call anytime, but his dad said that he should let Buck sleep and wake him up instead. Normally he would listen to his dad - except about silly stuff like going to bed on time and putting his toys away, because _come on_ \- but this was one time when his dad just wasn't what he needed. Like when they were in El Paso, and there would be a storm, and Chris got scared, and his dad would try to sit him on his lap and look at the lightning with him, and tell him he would keep him safe. But all Chris really wanted was his mom to hold him, and hide him from the storm until it went away. But she wasn't there.

He loves his dad, he's a hero and the best dad on earth. But his dad wasn't there that day, and he's not who Chris needs to see right now. Luckily for him, his dad and Buck got their heads out of their butts recently (a phrase he heard from Chimney, except he used a swear, but Chris isn't allowed to swear because he's ten, and apparently there's an age limit on that stuff) and now Buck sleeps over all the time. He slept over before, when his head was still in his butt or whatever (the thought made Chris giggle a little in the dark), but now he sleeps in his dad's bed instead of on the couch.

His dad had tried to make a big deal out of it, and tried to reassure Chris that Buck wasn't his mom and nothing and no one would replace her. Chris doesn't really see the big deal. He loved his mom, and he misses her lots. But he loves Buck too, and Buck sleeping at his house meant he got to play with him _every day_. He talks about it a lot at school now, wanting to brag to all the kids that he had a dad _and_ a Buck. Jillian tried to argue that she had two dads too, but Chris said he still won, cause neither of her dads were Buck.

So, since Buck lives with him now ("I moved in just to see you more, Superman," he'd said), Chris doesn't have to call Buck after a nightmare. He just walks down the hall - without his crutches, since they make a lot of noise and the walk is short enough - and into his dad's room.

At first he just wants to peak in and check on Buck. He wants to make sure he hadn't gotten lost in the night, the way he had in his dream. But then he remembers holding on to Buck in the water, and on the fire truck, and how much better he felt when Buck held him. So he walks in his dad's room as quietly as he could, up to the side of the bed where Buck is - his dad sleeping soundly on the other side - and touches Buck's cheek.

_You're gonna be okay, kid._

Buck's eyes blink open quickly. "Chris?" he mumbles. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Chris is embarrassed all of a sudden. He didn't mean to wake up Buck. And he definitely didn't mean to wake his dad up. If his dad wakes up, he's going to want to talk about it. And Chris is ten, he's not a kid. He knows he should be over this whole tsunami thing like Buck is.

"I'm okay," he whispers, and turns around to go back to his room.

The thing is, Chris has cerebral palsy. It means a lot of things, like the fact that people treat him like he's dumb even though he's not, or he's a baby even though he's _ten_. But it also means that everyone, especially adults, is much faster than him. And by the time Chris shuffles back to his room, Buck has gotten out of bed, gone to the kitchen, and come back to Chris's room with two glasses of water in his hand.

Chris doesn't look at Buck when he hands him one of the glasses, but he does sip on it. Nightmares make him thirsty.

He feels a hand rub his back and he looks up at Buck, who's staring at him a lot. Not like he's mad, but not like he's happy, either.

"Did something wake you up, buddy?" Buck asks after a minute.

Chris shakes his head.

"I'm okay," he says again.

Buck keeps rubbing at his back. It's making him sleepy.

"It's okay if you're not," Buck says.

Chris curls into Buck's arms, rubbing his back the way Buck was. "Are you?" he asks shyly.

Buck laughs softly. "I am," he says slowly. "But not always. Some days I'm really sad. Or mad." He takes a deep breath. "Some days I'm scared."

"You're not scared," he argues. "You're Buck. You're a superhero." Buck saved him, and all those people. He saves people every day at work with his dad. He even saw it on the news sometimes.

"Superheroes get scared too, buddy," Buck murmurs.

"Of what?"

"Depends," Buck says. "I get scared at work sometimes, when calls are dangerous. I get scared when bad stuff happens to people, especially people I care about. I get scared about the future."

Chris wrinkles his nose. He doesn't get that about adults - he can't wait for the future. There's probably gonna be flying cars and stuff, and he'll be old enough to drive them.

"Do you..." He almost chickens out, but then he feels Buck's lips on his hair, kissing him the way his dad does, the way his bisabuela sometimes does, the way his mom used to. "Do you still get scared about old stuff?" he asks.

"Definitely."

"How old?"

"There's stuff that scares me that's older than you, Superman."

Chris gasps. "That's really old."

Buck laughs. "Sure is, big guy."

Chris feels shy again, but Buck said he gets scared, so maybe Chris can say it too. "I dream about... about the tsunami," he whispers, staring at his bedsheets and not at Buck.

He hears Buck take a big breath. When Chris peaks at him out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he looks sad. "I do too," he whispers back. "I... I'm so sorry, Chris, for putting you through that that day. It was the scariest day of my whole life. I thought I - " He shakes his head. "It's okay if it still scares you."

"The water was so fast," he remembers. "And loud. And... dirty. And cold." As he describes it, he feels like he's back there, in the water, trying to swim but not being strong enough. But then he feels Buck's hand on his back, still rubbing in circles, listening to him talk, and he remembers he's home. He's safe, because Buck saved him.

He hopes he doesn't have any more nightmares, but if he does, he thinks it'll be alright. Because Buck says it's okay to be scared. And, he thinks as Buck tucks him back in to bed, because Buck will always be there for him when he needs it.

Chris is really, really glad his dad met Buck.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing as a kid, and i tried not to overdo it while still having the rambling and childlike thought processes of a kid, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ hope this wasn't terrible, comments appreciated :)


End file.
